Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A Guide to Etiquette and Grammar for Facebook/Twitter Users (and other electronic media users)

It's not rocket science. Matter of fact, it's the language you speak every day and butcher constantly on your tweets, status updates and other media outings. You're starting to get on my nerves. Yes I am ranting but did EVERYONE sleep through 4th grade English class?
Here are my list of hates in the web-o-sphere:

You're is you+ are not possessive as in "your car".

You don't have to put quotes around "everything". See, it's annoying.

It's is for it+ is, not for possessive use as in "the dog picked up its bone".

If you are too tired, it is spelled t-o-o. Not t-o. If it is more than one and less than three it is t-w-o.

LOL was for chat rooms and was stupid then. Now it is what you say when you are all out of anything worthwhile to say.

I'm done with ASCII smilies and just kidding abbreviations. It's what is used when you want to be truthful and/or hurtful but don't want the person to feel bad you halitosis laden troll. :-P j/k

Three times is plenty for ha ha ha. Past that and you're just being annoying. Santa only uses ho three times so if it's good enough for Santa, it's plenty good for you.

No matter how proud you are, you are not your child. I don't remember your kid from high school so chances are if a three year old named John Smith requests to be my friend, he's getting ignored.

Ladies, it is NOT a competition to see if your ex-boyfriend's new girl is uglier than you are. Chances are, she's not so quit going through all of his photos online to look for flaws.

Guys, posing in pictures with you flexing your muscles without a shirt tells all of us you are a giant ego maniacal twit. And, you're probably not very comfortable in your own skin.

Guys, backwards hats are for catchers, umpires, photographers and guys under 30. If not one of those, flip it around playah and get back to keeping it real. You sir are past your prime.

Ladies, enough of the cell phone driving pics. There must be a better time to take pictures of yourself but please, dear God in Heaven, don't take a picture in a bathroom mirror so you can see it.

There is different than their and they're. I won't explain it because you should already know it.

I get it. You and the rest of the world hates the new Facebook. Everyone does. But they will keep changing it and you will keep using it so can everyone just shut it about Facebook.

And lastly, I hate rants from people who act like know it alls. Don't you?

Thanks.